Please Ban People From Saying #Adulting

Hello beautiful people!

I hope this new year has been treating you well. I started a new job on the first day of the new year and the best part is that I didn’t have to even work on January first! Because it was a holiday, I still got paid! Now I’m not talking about one of those lame high school jobs you get because your parents force you to get one. And not one of those college jobs you get so you can pay for gas and coffee and occasionally hang out until you’re broke af again before your next paycheck. This is a REAL job. Yes, #adulting. Scratch that, real adults don’t actually say #adulting. But yes, I did get a real job. One that is starting me off on my lifelong career. Every time I say the word “career” or think of the word in my head, I can hear my high school teachers saying, “this is your high school career, you need to take it seriously!” Ha, thank God those days are over.

But on a more serious note, I am thankful for God that I got a job right after college for a position that I wanted. If you’re not Christian and you’re reading this, I just want to say that if I have any confidence, its not my own. My confidence is in God. There is such a power in trusting God and speaking into existence what you want to happen. God has my back better than any other person! He wants better for me than I even want for myself.

Trying to get adjusted to working full time has been quite the experience. First off, I’m not a morning person so trying to wake up at 6 AM everyday has been a struggle. But I cant wait until the day that I actually become a graceful morning person because I want to be one so bad! I’m also putting into practice what I have been learning in school for the past 2-4 years into my real life, woohoo. But the classroom could never fully prepare me for what I would be doing outside of school until I started working. Especially with communication, there was no real way of knowing what I would be doing after college. Some people go on to work in marketing, others become journalists, business owners, broadcasters, social media coordinators, graphic designers, or something totally random like being a potato farmer. Basically, communication is a very broad degree. The real life application can be a lot different than what you were learning in school.

I feel like a butterfly who is about to spread her wings! Being in college was like being in a cocoon. I was preparing to become a butterfly in the real world. I loved being in my comfortable cocoon without too many worries. Now I’m at my job and trying to break free of my cocoon. Some days I feel on top of the world and think to myself, I got this! Other days I feel like uh oh…what am I doing? Can I really conquer at this job? Am I really the person who should be in this position? Well, soon this butterfly is fully going to spread her wings and fly! I’m almost there. I have to keep believing, even when it gets tough! I keep reminding myself that people end up working in one place for years upon years of their life. Eventually you will become an expert at your job. Right now I’m learning, and growing, and sometimes growing leaves growing pains. But how can you know how far you’ve grown and changed without those growing pains?

A part of me misses school. A carefree time where I worried about boys and how I was going to finish my essays and group projects without losing my sanity. But now I have to worry about my job, providing for my future, not missing my bedtime, and signing up for the gym so I don’t start gaining excess weight from sitting at a desk. But each season in life is so important to your story and important to be present and given your full attention! Now I don’t have to pay to learn, but I get paid for going to work where I learn so much! Honestly, I love my job. It’s fun, it’s creative, and it’s a blessing. I will do my best to be my best while I am in this season!

Since a huge portion of my job is writing, I feel that it is important to keep up with my personal blog. It will help me learn how to be transparent and creative through my writing and it will help my skills continue to grow. I may have put writing on this blog on the back burner for a long time, but I remember when it was such an important outlet to get my frustration out and creative ideas flowing in the past. It’s not always easy for me to open up in person or speak up. Sometimes it feels like my mouth is super glued shut or I don’t have the confidence to say what I am really thinking, but writing allows me to express myself. Keeping up in this blog will not only help me for my own personal growth and enjoyment, but it will help me develop my skills further that will help me with my job! Killing two birds with one stone as they say.

On a side note, I also started a dream journal because I have the most vivid weird dreams. Sometimes they come true so I figured it would be a good time to start writing them down and keep track of them. I also have an essential oil diffuser in my room and I love going to sleep with it, its amazing. Highly recommend!

I am going to bed now. I am working on becoming more positive and trying to figure out how to go through all the changes in my life currently with grace and peace instead of anxiety and stress.

I want to leave you with a quote that my coworker read to me the other day, “God loves you too much to answer your prayers when you want them to instead of the perfect timing.” I know that I butchered the quote but it basically was something along those lines and I love it. What a perfect reminder!

You’ll be seeing me around more hopefully with my posts. I write because it helps me in more ways than one but I truly hope that my writing is not all for vain. Maybe it will inspire you to think of something outside of the box or perhaps just flash a smile.





Lessons From Ukraine

Hello to you if you are reading this.

Every blog entry starts with: Hello, I haven’t written in a long time..

Could I be anymore predictable?

Life gets busy and things get crazy. It’s been about a month since I’ve come back from my Europe trip. We visited Ukraine, Latvia, and France. It was an amazing experience and I am so happy that I went.

Being able to go to Ukraine was amazing because I got to experience first hand the culture that has influenced my entire life. I grew up going to a Ukrainian church, speaking Ukrainian, eating Ukrainian food, being told I should marry an Ukrainian boy, and upholding Ukrainian traditions. Ukraine was such a huge part of my life and identity but I had never visited or stepped foot into the country that had been so important to my being!

I struggled so much my whole life of having pride in being Ukrainian and then having pride in being American and sometimes it was hard for me to understand where I fit in in both sides.

After visiting Ukraine, I learned so much about who I am and why I am. I understand things about my childhood much better and I have a deeper appreciation of where my heritage comes from and how blessed I am to live in the US.

I miss Ukraine every single day since returning home.

I miss the slow pace time. No one is in a rush to get anywhere like they are here in Seattle. Although I didn’t always have internet connection or cell service, I was never bored. I really enjoyed every moment being PRESENT. Getting in a car for a couple of hours on bumpy roads in the middle of nowhere didn’t give me anxiety, I just enjoyed the moment I was in an I was at peace (although on highways and main roads I definitely had anxiety because traffic rules are not enforced and everyone drives how they want to and its very crazy!). I loved the city life which was full of fun things for young people like me. Shopping, yummy food, public break dancing, skits performed, music, lots and lots and lots of pda from couples, and endless activities and beautiful features. The village was full of yummy food, lots of animals, and time to really enjoy nature.

I miss the organic, natural, delicious food and coffee. Coffee there was so bomb. It does not compare here. Any café I went to served coffee in a cute tall clear glass with sprinkles or chocolate design on top. Mochachinos were my favorite. I ate potatoes and cucumbers homegrown every day. I value organic food so much more now. Lots of delicious soups and meats. The ice cream was to die for. We ate it almost every day. I ate dessert after every meal. My cousins would not stop feeding me. I never felt hungry. And yet my digestion never felt better! Because of that, I decided to incorporate the way that I ate in Ukraine now at home so that I feel just as good.

I miss the endless fields of wildflowers. I love flowers so much. I got this love from my mom. I think she got it from being raised in Ukraine where flower fields are not too hard to find. She would always tell me that loving flowers is important. In Ukraine we would pull over on the side of the road and pick flowers many times and bring them to my aunt’s house and my cousins. They were so beautiful, so free. I feel overjoyed just thinking about it.

Most of all, I miss my family. I met them for the first time in Ukraine. I wasn’t sure how I would get along with them. But now I see how we all are so similar. I bonded with cousins and saying good bye was extremely tough. I hope its not a good bye but more of a see you later. I will be back. I miss those late night chats and the gatherings at the dinner table. My eyes are flooded with tears as I think about this. My family is so far away. I wish that we could all be together. Don’t ever take for granted the family members who are near you. Appreciate them and love on them.

Ukraine taught me to enjoy the moment and not to rush always. Ukraine taught me to appreciate my family. It taught me to be thankful for the life my parents gave me by moving to the US because life in Ukraine is tough. Ukraine taught me to eat better for my health and happiness. Ukraine taught me that the person I am today would not be who I am without the motherland’s beautiful influence. And it taught me so much more that I will keep engraved in my heart forever. I can’t wait to take my kids to Ukraine one day too.

I miss you Ukraine.



The Goal is Connection, Not Distance

“The goal is connection, not distance” Well doesn’t that sound nice…oh wait.

I’m going to be talking about relationships and I don’t even know why.

Two days ago, my professor Dr. Bourdeaux was finishing up her lecture on the Jesus way of talking in our love and relationships communication class. She ended the lecture by having us all stand in a circle, holding hands, and read off a list of statements about love together in a prayer.

I’m thinking to myself like this is kind of a cute exercise. I’m holding one girls hand, the other girl prefers not to hold hands which is fine. I love praying so I don’t mind doing this somewhat cheesy exercise (it’s a class on love and relationships at a Christian University, you have to expect it to be a little bit gushy). So I’m reading off the list of statements with my classmates and one statement felt like a weight of bricks fell on top of me, the statement said:

“The goal is connection, not distance.”

Why is that such a big deal for me? Why have I not been able to stop thinking about it when I have forgotten all the other statements on the list. When I can’t stop thinking about something, I feel like that is my sign to write about it. I knew that God was perhaps challenging that statement to me because it is something I struggle with. That is, focusing on the connection with people, rather than creating distance.

At work and at school we always talk about how community and relationships are so important and sometimes I truthfully find it annoying. Hearing statements like “we are meant to be relational beings, we aren’t meant to do life alone, we are supposed to share our burdens together, yadda yadda…” initially it sounds great! Like yes! I want to have a ton of friends and talk about our deepest struggles and laugh together in joy and be involved with other people all the time. But then the other part of me goes, well it’s actually scary sharing your life with someone else because at any moment they can betray your trust, and does anyone really stay in your life forever anyway?

This is not to say I am anti social. I’m not. In fact, I love hanging out with people and meeting new people. The problem is not that I don’t like people or making friends. Because I really truly do. The problem is maintaining that connection when things get tough, rather than creating that distance. I distance myself for different reasons. Sometimes I get scared that this relationship is becoming too close and the feeling of being vulnerable scares me sometimes. Sometimes its because of the hurt I’m feeling that I just don’t want to face. Sometimes its for other reasons that are hard to explain. But as we talked about in class, the goal is not distance! It’s connection. Being connected with another human being is so valuable, precious, and is worth more than any silver or gold. We ARE meant to be relational beings. Sometimes it is hard because we are human and none of us are perfect. We hurt those we love, we make mistakes, we have bad days and seasons, we can be selfish, and we go through a lot of emotions. All of these things can sometimes cause harm in our relationships. But when things get tough, you shouldn’t distance yourself. Now, some distance is necessary in certain situations, don’t get me wrong. But distancing yourself away from healthy loving relationships when you need them the most is not healthy. You need to fight for that connection and work to make it stronger. It takes work but it is worth it. That I am learning.

Now I have to share another important lesson I learned about relationships. I met this wonderful man at Starbucks named Vincent a few weeks ago. I have secretly adopted him as my new grandpa.

I was working on hw at starbucks before church, and Vincent and I were sharing a table. He is a professional chess instructor and he was waiting for his student to come in. We somehow got to talking and he was asking me about my work. I told him that I was writing for a church and he asked me, “Oh, you are a Christian?” And I said, “yes sir!”

He too was a Christian and we started talking about faith. Another girl sat at our table and joined in the conversation. She too was a believer. It was a really cool experience to talk about my faith with two people I just met at a coffee shop. Vincent then gave us a specific talk about romantic relationships. I whipped out my phone and began taking notes.

Some things Vincent touched on:

-You girls are worth more than rubies, you are beautiful because you were made in the image of God.

-Some guys go to church to find a Christian girl because she can be easy to manipulate. She wants to serve her husband, they know that, and they can take advantage. Beware of wolves.

-Not all men who go to church are worth your time.

-Watch out for wandering eyes.

-Pray for the man you will want to marry.

-Women have a special intuition. If you feel something isn’t right, pray to God to reveal what is wrong.

Now when I see Vincent, he always reminds me to be careful about what men I am hanging around. He truly is like the grandpa I never had. Everything Vincent told me is what I already know. But the difference is, that it is easy to forget it in the moment. But it really is important to value yourself and know your worth. Don’t let anyone take advantage of you or make you feel less than. And please, stay away from wandering eyes. We all know what that’s like and its not going to change because you get into a relationship.

Remember that you can’t change anyone else but you can pray for them and work on yourself so that you grow stronger in character, wisdom, and love. So don’t focus on trying to change everyone around you, start with yourself!

So this is me talking about relationships, but only because I have gained so much knowledge this semester from my classes, and the people God has put in my life. If I were to give you relationship advice on my own experience, well I might have some what not to do’s and very limited experience to share which is not very helpful. But these people that have shared with me their experience, expertise, and knowledge have helped me learn so much and have shaped the way that I think. I love sharing with other people what I learn.

Only one week left of classes this semester, then a week of finals, and then SUMMER BREAK! It’s crazy. I have enjoyed going to college so much and I can’t believe I’m a senior with only one semester left. The two years are flying bye. I can’t wait to see what’s next in this season of life. It’s bittersweet. But I know that when I graduate, I won’t stop learning ever. My goal when I finish college is to learn piano, finally.

Never stop learning folks! And build those connections!



Rainy Days But That’s Okay

Rain rain go away! Come back another day.

Hello beautiful people!

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night from a really terrifying dream. 😦 It was hard to fall back asleep so this morning I woke up feeling like I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

But hey! I had a fun day ahead so there was no sleeping in. I went downstairs and was greeted by all my nephews here this morning. I gave them all a hug and kiss and we ate breakfast together at the table. Lucky for us, my sister made waffles! I had been craving some waffles or pancakes all week. I teased my nephew X about wanting to put ketchup on his waffles instead of syrup. He didn’t find my joke funny.

I then ventured off to school. On Fridays I start the school day with chapel at 10:00 am. Today we had a women speak about relationships and forgiveness. I always get excited when women are speaking at chapel. I like when guys speak too, don’t get me wrong but I grew up not seeing women preaching and was often told it was not alright for a women to preach. So it always inspires me when a women is up on the pulpit speaking. I loved her message and it really made me realize some things. I took detailed notes. She reminded us that holding onto unforgiveness is damaging. She offered to pray for anyone that needed it when her message was done so I went over to her and she prayed over me. I wish I hadn’t forgotten her name, one of my worst qualities is remembering names ugh. But that’s okay, I’ll find out.

Then I had some time to study for my midterm in forty minutes. I sat with some classmates to study but then a puppy came through the door! A  little pug with a flower on her collar. So we played with that little ball of sweetness. Then I  took the exam it was actually so easy1

I had three more classes after that. Then I went to my work to do some admin stuff.

Then I met with my good friend for a little exploration of a local city, photo session, and some thai food. I loved spending time with her and catching up.

Now I’m at home and about to read more of my book. I’m reading Judah Smith’s How’s Your Soul. It is a great book! Highly recommend. I also need to read my Bible. Then I’m going to eat some waffles for dessert, make some tea, and watch the real housewives.

I’m not sure why I decided to write about my day today. Today was just a good day Although some things didn’t go as planned. The rain was pouring which it has been for weeks now, but all is okay. I am writing this to remind myself to appreciate the small things in life that are worth being thankful for.

I have some exciting plans, projects, meetings, and changes in store! I can’t wait to share them with you all. This is an exciting time in my life and I must remind myself to enjoy every season that I’m in.

Also, I am excited to be a leader of one of the worship groups at church again after taking a break for a while. I realized the importance of building those strong connections and relationships with people. Understanding who they are at their core. I will never let miscommunication or lack of communication go on for so long. When something is important and of value its worth talking about now. No problem is worth more than a loss of relationship, passion, or dream. Do everything you can to make it work.

I encourage you to pursue your passions in life and always make the most of everything even when its raining. Soon the sun will come out.

God bless.




The In Between

Question Authority. Question Everything.

It has been a fat minute since I have written on here! I just came back from a coffee and movie date with a friend of mine and I guess I’m feeling inspired to write. I have been meaning to write but I can only do it when I feel a burst of energy. So it’s a Saturday night but technically Sunday morning because it’s past midnight. I’m cuddled up on my comfy couch with a blanket and the sound of rain drizzling outside.

Yesterday I was craving donuts so bad. I was telling everyone I wanted donuts. Today I woke up and we had donuts. God does answers prayers people!

But anyway, life is in the in between stage. It feels like a transition but I don’t know what for and that is really scary. I realized that I am someone who loves control and even though I have a tight grip on everything around me, controlling every decision I have to make, I don’t feel like I have control. I don’t know what lies ahead for me and it is a really weird feeling. I have been asking God to lead me where I need to go but I feel so…directionless. I miss a lot of things that I was doing before this year started and relationships I had. Although I know that not all of those things are good for me and that some of them I let go by my own decisions, I still miss them. I believe you should always question everything. Don’t just assume or go with something because everyone else is doing it. The only problem is that questioning doesn’t always leave you with answers. The In between stage…where you don’t know exactly where you’re going is confusing.

I’m not entirely sure if I’m making any sense. Bare with me. I’ll update when I get some answers (if I do).

In my love and relationships class we had to do a love service project. My partner and I decided we would go to the local mall and give out handwritten cards and candy. I had this whole crazy idea of handing out these cards and holding a sign and having conversations with people about their love languages. But let me tell you..the mall is definitely not the right place to do that. Maybe on like a busy Seattle street with a film crew with you so that you look justified by your actions. But not at a mall where people are just trying to mind their own business and chill and shop.

So we downplayed my crazy over zealous idea and decided on just handing out handwritten notes with candy and moving on with our day. It was still a lot scarier than I thought. I got so nervous before passing them out, I started nervous laughing. My partner suggested we tried to go for elderly people because they are usually kind and sweet and we wanted to brighten their day. So we went up to this man who was sitting alone (this always breaks my heart) and we handed him the note and lolli pop and said, :Hello sir! We just wanted to offer you some encouragement today.”

His response with a  blank face, “No thank you.” Didn’t even blink.

can you say REJECTED.

Yeah so in that moment I wanted to just run away but I knew that we needed to complete this challenge. Loving people is not always easy. It’s not always fun or easygoing. Loving people is a choice. The worst part is that you may get rejected and not be shown love back, but that can’t keep you from showing love. I had written an encouraging note and Bible verse in almost all the cards that I had made. I wasn’t sure if the people receiving my note were Christian or how they would take it, but my hope was that someone would feel encouraged that day and reminded of God’s love. And if they weren’t believers, that they would at least have the seed planted.

Some other people rejected our notes too but we still went at it. A funny rejection was when we saw another man sitting alone eating mcdonalds and reading a book. I was like, we have to go to him! So I went up to him and offered the note and he told me that he didn’t hear. Well obviously he did because of his reaction, but if anything, in case he was reading my lips, I said: oh well you don’t have to hear, you just have to see! You know what he told me? I cant see. HE LITERALLY WAS READING A BOOK WITH WORDS. But we respectfully walked away.

Other people took the gesture very graciously. Some people said it made their day and they gave me hugs. I even got a picture with one gal. We gave these notes out to a variety of people. We went into stores and when someone would ask me if they could help me, I’d say no but I’d love to help you have a better day! They would get so excited and their smile would brighten. We gave it to girls my age, young middle school boys, elderly women, older men, workers, shoppers, people dating. We just had a variety of people we talked to and it was awesome seeing their reactions.

Although not all people wanted to accept our little gift, that is to be expected and it is okay. What I noticed in life is that people often love their close family and friends really easily. But they have a hard time extending that love beyond those people or accepting it from other people. But that is what a Christian is about. Christ came while we were still sinners and loved us and saved us. As Christians, we have to choose to love the community around us, even if they have nothing to offer us. That is how we share the gospel, by spreading love. It’s not always easy but it’s important. The rejections we got from people for our project did not outweigh the positive responses we got. It is worth it.

I have midterms next week so if you want to say a little prayer for me, then please have at it! Much appreciated.

Oh and as I’m learning about the five love languages in my love and relationships comm class, I learned that my love languages are different than what I originally thought. I retook the test and found that my top love language is acts of service and quality time. I always thought my number one was words of affirmation. But I realized that my love language for romantic relationships and all other ones are different. For a romantic relationship, I definitely want words of affirmation and acts of service. But for all other relationships its acts of service and quality time. It’s hard living in a world where everyone says: words mean nothing, only actions matter. But for me, if your actions aren’t backed up by words, I have a harder time accepting them. I need to be affirmed that I mean something to someone. But that’s just me.

I’m also moving into a new room in my house. The guys in my family repainted it today. I cant wait to actually move in and decorate it! It will allow me to be more creative again.

Thank you for reading. My thoughts are a bit mixed in this one. That’s life I guess.

Eat some donuts! They are yummy!





The Season of Grieving

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die,..” Ecclesiastes 3:1

Currently in the state of grieving and learning how to deal with everything. You know its funny because in life you try to prepare for anything coming your way. But you don’t always get to prepare for death. Sometimes you know that death is coming over soon and you try to prepare yourself for it’s cold visit into your home. Other times it comes unexpectedly and there is no time to prepare. But whether or not you know it’s coming, doesn’t make it any easier when the time finally comes. It’s a new reality. One day they are here and the next day they are not. They have descended to a different place but you are still here going through life. Death doesn’t wait for the most convenient time, when work is less busy, when you’re financially stable, or “old enough” to handle it. It comes at it’s own time, a time predestined at the very beginning. When it’s God’s will, it’s God’s will. Though I am fortunate to know where my loved ones have gone, I am still a human incapable of fully understanding eternity and how to not take this in a hurtful way. But we live and we go through the good and the bad and we get through it by the help of God, for those who are blessed to know Him.

As my mom kept saying in disbelief during that crazy week in mid January, “This is just unheard of for two grandmothers to pass away within a day of each other!”, it really was unexpected. I knew that both my grandmothers were getting sick but I didn’t know when the time was coming for them to leave us, and I sure as heck didn’t think they would pass away within one day of each other.

I don’t want to get too into detail since I am writing an article about this for my school newspaper and don’t want to copy content, but this is the season I am in right now. Grieving. You know it happens so fast and you’re preparing for the funeral, spending time with family, and going through the motions but you don’t really truly process it until the initial shock and busyness of the funeral wears off. The first week you have a lot of people stopping by to comfort you. But then the weeks pass and it’s time to go back into the real world. Back to work and school and your other responsibilities. Then suddenly the loneliness hits you like an unexpected train. Suddenly the house is empty because the two beautiful souls who prayed for you and always blessed you goodbye as you walked out the door each morning are gone.

Grieving isn’t always death. You can grieve the loss of your dreams, you can grieve from a divorce or a breakup, a lost friendship, a lost opportunity. But as Ecclesiastes writes, there is a time and season for everything under the sun. This is the season I’m in but this too shall pass. I know that good days will be coming my way. That is how life works. You go through the ugly and that can sometimes help you appreciate the sunshine when it finally comes.

It feels like I’m grieving a few different things. Grieving the loss of my worship team, some goals and aspirations I had, and some lost friendships. But I have hope that something brighter will come around soon. You have to be patient and trust in God.

I’m thankful for everyone who has been praying for my family. Thankful for my parent’s friends who brought us food when my mom was too weak to cook and I was too busy with school and work to always have a meal prepared for all the unexpected and expected guests we had coming over each day. I’m thankful for my professors who allowed me to take some time off from classes and give me make up assignments so that I wouldn’t fall behind but also prayed for my family. I’m thankful for the people who reached out to me to wish me well. I’m thankful for music that has kept my mind busy. I’m thankful for people who have attempted to make me laugh or smile. Most importantly I’m thankful for God who continues to comfort me even though it’s hard for me to pick up a Bible or even pray.

If you’re reading this, may you have a blessed day that is full of laughter.







Rough Start

Hasn’t been even a full two weeks into the new year and I have already deleted or blocked 4 people on social media, jeez.

Hello beautiful people!

Happy new year! I am so late in writing this article. I had hoped to write this at the true beginning of the year but getting readjusted to school and work has been tough and overwhelming. I write myself a bunch of to-do lists but I still manage to forget to do two things a day and only remember when I’m finally laying in bed. I write notes on my phone and in my school journals but I definitely need to get more organized.I have also had this ongoing headache which I do not know why so I’m trying to drink more water. Jeez, could I complain anymore? I apologize. I hope your new year is going well!

Obviously, we know that just because its a new year doesn’t mean that all of a sudden you need to completely change as a person or whatever. You can start making positive changes whenever! But there is still something great about a fresh new year where you can reflect on the past year and then analyze what you want to work on and set some goals!

You might be wondering why I had to delete people from social media and you may think its petty. But why have someone there looking at your life and what you’re doing if they don’t support you? You should have people that support your life and your work. Social media is an extension of you as a person whether you want it to be or not. If someone is disrespectful to you in real life and cannot be trusted then you don’t need that negativity in “real life” or online. Also, I don’t need to see posts of people that will bring me down. Why would I keep them on my feed. I don’t care what they are up to. I wish them the best in whatever they do in their life because we’re all trying to get through the madness. But simply put I do not need extra negativity in my life. Sometimes you just have to cut people off. It’s not my preference because I’d love to think that I can be friends with everyone and just because they have done something to hurt me in the past doesn’t mean they will do it again. But after a few downfalls, you realize the best thing to do is just LET IT GO (excuse me as I braid my hair so I can look like Elsa). Sometimes what you post is subconsciously to make certain people jealous or get a certain reaction or be in competition. Don’t do that. I’m going to focus on the things that I like and want to share with the world and I want to feel inspired by what other people share and be open to constructive criticism when it is needed. At the end of the day social media is a creative platform and it is not as important as we make it out to be. If it starts bringing you down or you spend too much time on it, take a break and chillll because it is really not a big deal or at least it shouldn’t be.

So in some ways its been a rough start to the new year. I have been almost in constant teary eyes and deep thought. I have had to say good bye to some things that I really did not want to. But you need to let go of the past, sometimes the good and the bad. For me, I wanted to hang on so badly but it wasn’t the wise thing to do. Thankful for the people who have reached out to me, encouraged me, listened to me, sent me Bible verses, and even cried with me. Still trying to figure out this season of my life and the encouragement has been much needed. But I don’t want a rough start to mean the rest of the year will be rough!

Sorry for all the sadness! I realized I am much more inspired when I am sad, is that weird? I can almost write easier when I have been impacted by something negative. But there have been positives in the new year too! I have gone on a beautiful hike, hung out with some friends, eaten bomb food, and enjoyed a spontaneous detour stop to watch the sunset at the downtown waterfront by my school with a friend. I also love my classes at school and the work that I get to do! And I am happy to stay busy because it helps me grow and be productive.

Here are the things that I look forward to for the new year:

  • Getting back into photography and creative projects. I used to really love taking pictures. My friends and I would plan so many different photo shoots. I still like taking pictures but I really want to get back into it. I want to turn madness in my life into beautiful art. I’m hoping to combine my love for words and writing with pictures. I’m not a professional and never will be by any means. I just like how taking pictures allows you to be creative and share a story. I love being surrounded by creative motivated people that inspire me.
  • Focus on healthy relationships. I struggle with the fact that I love being alone but sometimes feel lonely. Although I want to believe that I don’t need anyone else, I know that community is important. We weren’t meant to go through life alone. Hoping to stay away from destructive people but rather pursue healthy encouraging relationships. I’m also taking a communication class and love and relationships so I hope I’ll learn very useful things from that!
  • Travel! I’m planning a trip to different countries in Europe this summer and I am so hopeful that all will go well. My soul longs to travel. I’m hoping to go on a few more different local trips as well. I need to save that money though lol.
  • Be less sarcastic and more affectionate. Yeah I can braid my hair and look like Elsa but I really don’t need to have a cold heart.
  • Pursue God above all else. Above all else, I am happiest when I am walking with God and pursuing Him.
  • Be healthier. Yeah…I need to respect my own body and health and take better care of it because I love myself and you should love yourself too.
  • Don’t be a push over. I have been one in the past so now there is nothing else to do but be honest and stand up for injustice!

I can’t wait to look back in a year and see where my mind is and see how things change. Glad I started writing this blog honestly.

Thank you to everyone who has supported my writing. You don’t know how much it means to me! When people tell me they read my blog, it always surprises me! I can’t believe anyone would actually read it to be honest. I really enjoy writing and updating on my life and the lessons I have been learning. Each encouraging word pushes me to keep going. You don’t know how much anxiety rushes through me every time I’m about to post an article. I don’t know if I shared too much or was too vague or if it was written badly. I have 20 drafts of work I have never released so I am careful and indecisive sometimes. But when people connect with what I write, it fills my heart with happiness. So thank you if you are reading this.

When it comes down to it, this is what I want 2017 to be like: “No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.” Philippians 3:14. I read this on my Bible app because I suddenly got a random craving to read the Bible as I was waiting in the car (and lets be honest, how often do cravings to read the Bible happen, for me not often and I have to be intentional in reading). When I read it, I knew it was God providing me to some comfort and direction.