I always have the AC cranked up in the car while driving, doesn’t matter what the temperature is outside. I like being cold rather than hot. Sometimes I am driving someone around in the car and turn around to see them shivering to death without saying anything. Oops.
I prefer to be cold on the outside but I sure do not like how cold this world often is [on the inside looking out].
Today in the middle of the day I got a notification on twitter that someone liked my tweet from a lllooonngg time ago that said “Somebody turn up the AC because it’s a competition to be the most cold hearted”. Although it’s weird that someone stalked my twitter to find that tweet, it sparked my idea to write about this. Everybody is too scared to show their feelings, to show they have any type of emotion. Feelings are seen as a weakness because if you show someone how you’re really feeling you may seem too excited, crazy, or end up hurt in the end.
I’m an emotional person which I know I have already mentioned in other posts. Is it really that I am an emotional person or am I just more open about my feelings than everyone else? I mean, I don’t sit there and cry all the time. I actually don’t cry that often and when I do it is usually during an encounter with God. Last week I went with my friends to watch the movie “Me Before You”. That movie was very emotional. My best friend sat there bawling her eyes out while I sat their peeking over at her and laughing hysterically. The movie was sad and good. But I believe her and I express our emotions differently.
What I am trying to get here is that feelings are often seen as a sign of weakness often. People try to be cold as possible. It’s like the song lyrics from the popular song on the radio right now “7 Years” by Lukas Graham that go “Soon I’ll be 60 years old, will I think the world is cold…” You know that I go hard at that part every time in the car when it comes on and am jamming out.
Feelings are fleeting and we should not always react immediately to every feeling that comes our way, that’s for sure. But we should be more open and honest and not let our hearts turn to rocks or be stone cold. There is a difference.
Here are some examples of what I mean:
Boy and girl like each other but both are too scared to actually admit they like each other. How many times do I hear my friends say “Oh I don’t want to make it seem like I am obsessed with him.” How does showing him interest to let him know you have some romantic feelings become being obsessive and crazy? When did actually asking people to go on dates become too scary and too forward. Now people just “hang out” so that in case nothing works out no one has the ability to be hurt. People have “things” instead of relationships so that when the thing ends, the other person is not allowed to be upset because it wasn’t a real relationship anyway. People go to parties and “hook up” and then the next day act like it was nothing and completely desensitize any feelings that should naturally occur when having any form of intimacy with someone. You get in a fight with a friend and instead of working out the issues and solving the problems people harden their hearts like rocks and become cold. We’re scared to simply compliment someone, we’re scared to give words of affirmation to someone, we’re scared to be too happy and positive because that is annoying, and we’re too scared to show we care because that person may not care as much as we do. Because to catch feelings, to be vulnerable, to put yourself out there, to be transparent can really screw yourself over in the end.
I used to do this. Be too scared to show my emotions and be too scared to put myself out there in fear that it would leave me rejected or hurt in the end. But I soon realized that being cold is not fun. It ends up hurting you more later. I still struggle with being transparent with my emotions. Sometimes I keep things so bottled up and they marinate inside until they explode a long time after. That’s not good. I am working on that part of me.
I’m not just talking about romance here. I’m talking about life in general and how people try to be as cold as they can be. People close themselves up and don’t want to let anyone in or to put themselves out there for someone else. What a shame. We all want change in this world yet our world is so cold. Every day we turn on the news and hear more horror stories of shootings, violence, hate crimes, terrorism, and more. We need to show love and compassion to one another in such a cold world. We must.
I challenge you to be more open hearted. Be more forward with how you feel. And when you don’t know how you feel then be honest about that. Be more transparent and see how you can positively affect someone else’s life.
[Thank you to my friend Noah for instilling the idea of being more transparent in my life.]